Dear Science, It's just not working anymore.

Trump and his GOP.call it quits on a fraught relationship

Dear Science,

Well, it’s been a good run. It’s hard for me to write this after so many years together, but we both know it’s time. Or it least, I know it’s time. You’ve become such a downer. Always coming to me with bad news or telling me what I can’t do. I just want to have fun and you’re all “Don’t burn down the house,” or “That punch is toxic.” Worse yet, you want to tell all my friends and then they don’t want to come to my party.

The final straw was when you told everyone not to buy my Miracle Supplement. You almost killed my business. And what was it all about? I mean a little bit of ground glass and the occasional brain parasite never hurt anyone. Or almost no one.

It’s not that it hasn’t been good. I remember the early years when you gave me gunpowder and fertilizer. And you were right about the whole don’t drink raw sewage thing. Nuclear weapons were a blast (sorry, couldn’t resist). I’m still not totally down with the whole round earth and evolution thing, but I will always love you for the Gameboy and Dark Souls.

Honestly, I just don’t understand you anymore and neither do my buddies. I’ve heard that people who understand say I should try to work things out, but I need someone I can relate to. And your boobs were never big enough.

Sincerely yours,

DJT

Make America Stupid Again